Review Tantangan EF#32

Hai, ketemu lagi di review dua mingguan kami. Untuk EF32 ini, yang direview adalah postingan Rani. Sebagai gambaran postingan Rani adalah di bawah ini:

https://rhanztheking.wordpress.com/2015/11/27/ef32-make-us-curious-and-inspire-us/

Kami berterima kasih untuk Rani dan mbak Yo atas post dan review kali ini. Yuk baca ulasan dari mbak Yo yuk…

 

Rani, thank you for volunteering for the review of the challenge. Beberapa saran untuk kamu:

– Perhatikan bentuk tenses. Kadang kamu memakai bentuk lampau (past tense) untuk situasi sekarang (present). Beberapa kali juga present perfect dipakai walaupun tidak perlu.

– Untuk belajar menulis dalam bahasa asing, sebaiknya menulis kalimat pendek. Semakin panjang kalimat, semakin membingungkan pemakaian tenses dan struktur kalimat. Bukan hanya untuk yang menulis tapi juga untuk pembaca. Ada tiga kalimat panjang kamu yang saya potong menjadi beberapa kalimat pendek.

– Ada beberapa kalimat yang sepertinya diterjemahkan langsung dari bahasa Indonesia ke dalam bahasa Inggris. Akibatnya struktur kalimat tersebut kurang beberapa kata kerja.

Jangan patah semangat ya Rani. You did well!

Hi, I’ve just join(ed) this club from a blogger that I used to call  him Pak/Mas Dani.
So now I’m (I have) officially become a member that I’ve (have is not needed) signed yesterday and this would be my fisrt post challenge hopefully I could answer the challenge as well.

This sentence is too long. I would rather chop it in two or more short sentences. So now I have officially become a member. I signed in yesterday. This is my first post challenge. I hopefully I could answer the challenge as well.

Since I’ve worked (I work, present tense. You do this every day) like a nonstop go go horse from Monday toSaturday 9am to 5pm, I almost don’t have any time for hobbies or hang(ing) out with some friends of mine and especially leisure time for my self (myself). 

My mom said when you have 24 hours a day you should manage your time into a 8 hours for rest / sleep, 8 hours for work and 8 hours for hang out/ play. But the fact is I spend to much time on my work and also have a less sleep and the rest is to do (doing) some home work like ironing, dishes, moping etc. Yeah I know, it’s kind a boring live (live is not needed here) life that I lived (live, present tense) which unfortunately its become a routine that successfully made me like stuck in some circumstances and become a grumpy girl over a little stuff.

This sentence is too long. I would rather chop it in two or more short sentences. Yeah I know, it is kind of a boring life that I live. It has unfortunately become a routine that successfully made me stuck in some circumstances. And I become a grumpy girl over a little stuff.

So, I’m trying (I try, present tense) to figured (figure) it (it is not needed here) out what (which) things can make me happy and turn my bad mood into a good one, and here’s a list to make my day to be a bit yaay! :
1. Baking Cake
2. Sleep(ing) all day
3. Playing games
4. Eating all the sweet kind of food (Ice cream, chocolate, candies, cakes, kue-kue basah etc)
5. Having (a) boyfriend
6. Skateboarding / Waveboarding
7. Swimming

But guess what?? none of the list above could fit in my time, and point in (in is not needed here) no.5 I realized (I realize, present tense) it just doesn’t make sense. Hahahaha… what a crap!!

Well, I guess I have to pick one of (from) the list to make everything’s (‘s is not needed here) normal. So I Pick Waveboard in order to balanced (to balance, after to verb has to be in infinitive form) my crazy activity. This week woould be the third time I played my waveboard after over a year ago. Rephrase This week would be the third time I play my waveboard after the last time I used it over a year ago. I play my waveboard on sunday (Sunday, capital letter S for days) with my mom, I mean my mom do(es) her Tai-Chi aerobic while me with waveboard next the field.
I have great feelings when (I am) on top waveboard, everything seem(s) so free and I feel like a child with no burden, just a happy feelings.

I know I’m too old for playing skateboard, but hey, everybody have (has, everybody needs singular verb form) a childish side of em’ right? And playing waveboard is childish side of mine.

* * *

Gimana, untuk Rani dan teman-teman? Seneng ya ada yang membantu kita mengoreksi dan mengevaluasi diri. Semoga bermanfaat ya, hasil review kali ini 🙂 .

Komentar, saran, pertanyaan atau apapun, silakan tinggalkan komentar di bawah ya. Sampai jumpa di hasil review yang lain 😉