Review Tantangan EF#31

Masih ingat tema tantangan English Friday yang ke 31? Yup, salah satu tema tantangan tersulit sampai saat ini karena dibuat berdasarkan satu soal di tes IELTS. Hal ini terbukti dari jumlah peserta tantangan yang menyusut drastis dibandingkan tantangan sebelumnya. 😀

Kalau mungkin pada lupa materi yang ditulis di English Essential sebelum post tantangan ke-31, temanya adalah tentang Verb Agreement.

Sandrine yang kembali dari hiatus sementaranya bersukarela untuk postingannya direview oleh mentor BEC yang kali ini dilakukan oleh Mbak Yo.  Di bawah ini hasil review postingan Sandrine yang mengutarakan pendapatnya tentang apakah profesi tertentu dibayar terlalu besar sedangkan yang lainnya terlalu kecil.

Note: review tidak akan membahas mengenai isi dari postingan karena merupakan hak prerogatif penulis, review berfokus pada hal terkait teknis penulisan seperti grammar dan common terms yang dipakai dalam Bahasa Inggris. Review akan tercetak tebal, miring dan di dalam kurung.

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Lately, my co-workers and I in some break times had discussions related to welfare of employees. (This first sentence should be: Lately my co-workers and I have had discussions related to the welfare of the employess during the breaks. Note: If you use the word lately: you must use the present/past PERFECT tense. And don’t forget to set the time (during the breaks) at the end of the sentence.) 

We talked about how (how is not needed here) the growth of a skillful employees is (is is not needed here). We talked about how to compete with the expatriates. And of course finally we talked about salary.

Same as the theme given, we were kind of questioning of (of is not needed here) why those entertainers could make that huge amount of money and get so many full of (full of is not needed here) opportunity (opportunities) time (time is not needed here) while some manufacturing employees like us could not even reach even (even is not needed here) their half of salary although working at the same amount of time, 24/7.

(Note: I prefer to chop this very long sentence in a couple of short ones like the following.) Same as the theme given, we kind of questioned why those entertainers could make that huge amount of money and got so many full opportunities. Meanwhile some manufacturing employees like us could not reach even half of the entertainer’s salary although we work the same amount of time, 24/7.

For instance, there were a lot of entertainers who held a “sponsored” wedding day with their dream wedding concept while the ordinary employees should save their own average salary for months to hold a simple wedding. Well, we were not trying to be “nyinyir” but we really realized that life sometimes was unfair to some people.

Seeing the reality (and) based on my own opinion, Indonesia has a bit imbalance for some kind of professions. From this imbalance emerge(s) mind set (a mindset) that some particular professions can make a living and some can not, some can make you rich and some can not. For example, Home Appliances Engineers are undervalued rather than the Product Marketer (marketeer). so it (This) makes people always think how to be a great marketer (marketeer) while no one wants to be the innovator of new home appliances product. Or the other example, Teachers are undervalued rather than Professional Consultants or Trainers. And there are so many others.

But, however (You need to choose between but and however) we always think about this, this kind of difference will not stop. Undervalued or Overvalued will always be there everywhere we go and whatever we do. So, maybe we just need to live our life to the fullest and work as hard as we can in the positive way, in (a) halal way.

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Kelihatannya Sandrine melakukan pekerjaan yang bagus sekali di postingannya, koreksi dari Mbak Yo tidak terlalu banyak dan tulisannya pun menurut saya mengalir dengan cukup bagus. Great job San! Dan terimakasih banyak sudah bersedia direview untuk minggu ini! 🙂

Ini ceritanya admin belajar lebih banyak dari yang direview nih. 😀

Kalo ada saran, usul, ato malahan sumbangan materi ato tema challenge, Admin akan sangat berbahagia loh menerimanya. Silahkeun ditulis di komen atau colek mimin di twitter @blogenglishclub yes?! 😀

Yours truly!